How to change your life (when you don’t have a clue what you want to do)

August 5, 2018

I realised I was starting to drift about three years ago. I’d fallen out of love with a job I’d felt so passionately about and knew I was no longer feeling fulfilled. I had this inner feeling that things weren’t quite right – but I couldn’t work out exactly why. I knew I wanted to change my life; I just hadn’t got a clue what I wanted to do.

They often say change happens to you if you don’t make change happen yourself. It forces you to take action. Well I had major life changes: a baby, a death of a parent, a house move and yet still… I knew I needed to make some changes; I just didn’t know what I needed to change.

Buying every ‘how to change your life’ book on the market

I bought every self-development book on change and worked through exercises to try and work out what set my soul on fire. I spent hours googling how to unlock your life’s purpose and tried to create a lightbulb moment. I followed Instagram coaches and hung on their every word hoping some of their wisdom would seep into my skin. I created vision boards, set intentions, released energy and tried to break through some of my blocks.

Yet, the more I wanted to change, the harder it seemed to become. I felt paralysed by my indecision and overwhelmed by the enormity of the decisions I was trying to make.

Change is a journey, not a destination

However, in the few months, life change has happened. It wasn’t a bolt in the blue but a series of tiny changes that grew into something bigger. I’ve refocused my job role and am building up new skills to open up a new career path. In turn, I now have a clearer understanding of my direction and what I want to do.

How I made change happen

  • I made small incremental changes, not always knowing why but because it made me feel good. I set up this blog to get serious about my own wellbeing, as well as to create content I wanted to write about and enjoy.
  • I became braver about pushing myself out there. I still cringe a bit when I post a blog on Twitter because I feel I’m opening myself up for judgement. However, each time I do it, I become more comfortable.
  • I moved away from right/wrong thinking. I had started to lose the ability to think clearly and became very black and white in my thinking. I have tried to retrain myself into understanding there is more than one path to happiness.
  • I asked for what I wanted. This doesn’t come naturally to me – but I recognised I needed to become more open in asking for opportunities. I let myself be vulnerable and ask other people for help.
  • I let myself just be. I can find it hard to settle and allow events to unfold. It means I often feel frustrated when things aren’t moving fast enough. For once, in my life, I’m trying to trust in the process and let things unfold.

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